Red looks good on him
by longingparadise
Summary: Stefan doesn't just love his brother, he is obsessed with him. Stefan's POV. One Shot.


**Red looks good on him**

You are absorbed. You can not speak. You are lost in his eyes again. The crystal blue is clear and so beautiful. But you can see the raging storm in them.  
And you know, that he's angry with you.

His saying- no growling something and you dimly realize just how much of angry he's with you, how much of rage and grudge he holds for you.  
But you don't hear his words because you know they will destroy you and the shattered pieces of what is left will be in a such a state, that it will be hard for you to put them together again.  
So you listen to his voice, because that is as beautiful as it always is.  
You long stopped thinking about the fact that it has a more calming effect than it should have.

You're obsessed. 163 years have somehow helped you to overcome the denial phase but you know that you'll never overcome your obsession even if he lets you live a thousand years more. Because he is the only one that can make you survive in this world since you gave him this life practically in his hands and dismissed with a 'Do whatever you please with it'.  
You just wanted him to approve so you gave your everything and now you're left with nothing.  
But you're still waiting. Waiting for his eyes to look at you, waiting for his voice to roar at you, waiting for his hands to grab you and injure you hard. Because his touch is one of the best the best things about him and you're melting and pliant and lithe while you're hoping that he'll never stop hitting you.

The book is almost weightless in your hands and was totally meaningless a day ago. But now you're pressing it in your chest, clinging for it as if Damon's life depended on it. Frantically you start caressing every page of it, but never reading one word. You're searching for something different.  
And some part of your sick brain, the part that appears very rarely, tells you that there will be no trace of him. There will be no touch, smell or anything left just because _he read_ through it.  
But you don't listen. Instead you grip that glass of scotch that he just held half an hour ago. You inhale it and take a small sip of what is left, savouring it. You are delirious.

His room is a taboo and you won't disobey because there isn't anything you wouldn't do if he would tell you to. You fear that he'll someday maybe want you to kill him because it is impossible to read Damon. But this would be an order you couldn't respond to.

So you stand in the floor away from that room but still seeing it clearly and thinking about how heavenly it would be there. There, where everything would be simply _Damon_. You sigh longingly.

This is one of those moments. He's smirking and chuckling and he almost seems happy. It makes your heart beat faster and you wonder if he notices it. If he likes playing with you, giving you little, forged bits of affection like giving a dog pieces of meat. But you'll gladly be his dog because you would take everything he'd give to you.  
And you don't care for whatever reason he is faking his grin now because he is faking it for _you._  
Every time you think you couldn't love him more, he's surprising you.

You trace the red mark and you know that they will disappear soon but for now, you have them. And you could cry with how happy they make you. There, a proof of his touch, the imprint of his hands.  
You watch them till they're gone.

He is the most merciful person that ever walked on this world and he surprises you again. You think your heart will burst but the stake that is almost all the way through your heart isn't the reason for it.  
He's making your dreams come true. There are tears coming of your eyes while you smile and you both know that you're just fucking insane.  
But how did he expect you to react when he's pressing himself at your body that is starving for it. When he even looks you in your ugly eyes. When he speaks to you _softly_. And that's when you actually start sobbing because his voice is so tender with what almost seems like affection that you can't hold yourself together anymore.  
You never thought that the Lord would gift you with such a beautiful death after everything you have done.  
You're looking at his hands, that are gripping the stake which through now and you notice how red suits him, how it looks so beautiful on him.  
Anyway you lift your eyes again, taking everything of that face in, That face, he'll never forget, not here, never in death.  
The first time in years you have the courage to listen again because his voice sounds almost lovingly now.  
You is rewarded by sweet nothings, by everything you ever wished for.  
"That's it, close your eyes, relax. I've got you. Everything's alright..."  
You do what you're told and you know, he hates you.


End file.
